3 Steps to Overcome Social Anxiety WITHOUT Medicine (The Decoy Technique)

3 Steps to Overcome Social Anxiety WITHOUT Medicine (The Decoy Technique)


You know your thoughts aren’t rational,
not everyone in the event is staring at you and judging you but having that
understanding and that logic doesn’t prevent your emotions from running wild
we know that you can’t stop or change emotion from understanding logic but how
can you by taking action in this video I’m going to give you a technique called
the decoy technique that’s going to help if you’re looking to enjoy yourself and
relax in social situations a bit more treatment for social anxiety ranges from
pharmaceutical drug prescriptions to therapy but one of the treatment options
which has no downside and a strong upside is simply developing a stronger
social skill set this enables you to better figure out what’s going on around
you and be calm and confident in the environment that this is something that
you’re looking to improve in I put together a free social invincibility
checklist you can touch up here if you’re on a mobile device or you can
click right here if you’re on a desktop it’s free and it’ll give you a list of
things that you can go through to become aware of to think about before you go
into a social setting the decoy technique hinges on social momentum and
rhythm and I know hope you may be thinking hey with social anxiety when
you jump in the pool telling somebody to establish a social rhythm is kind of
like telling someone who’s drowning to go into a perfect crawl form when
they’re just trying to keep their head above water but this technique in this
strategy is going to be more like showing you how to wade in the water
slowly get comfortable in the water and then slowly and very methodically start
to take a small controlled stroke so I’d like to thank for you to think of it
that way so it’s three steps this is a step to Ceasar steps to set you up when
you have a big event maybe it’s a networking of it maybe it’s a birthday
party it’s something where is going to be a lot of people and you feel a lot of
anxiety about before there’s three steps that are going to get you there number
one is the telephone so you’re going to call somebody up who you have no anxiety
talking to maybe it’s a family member maybe it’s someone you’ve known for a
long time but you have no anxiety and simply talking to them although this
doesn’t get your body ready for the anxiety you’re going to feel the social
press you’re going to feel it engages your social mind so it’s going to get
your brain and the social parts of your brain turned on blood actually
close to them there’s more energy going to them so they’re ready to interact on
a social level very easy to do just do it for 5 to 15 minutes to engage that
part of your brain that’s the first step you’re wading in the water while you’re
doing that the next step is you’re going to meet someone once again who you’re
very comfortable with who you know very well have very little anxiety about
talking to either in the venue if there’s a restaurant in a bar in the
venue that’s not at the actual place at the events being held go there or
somewhere around there maybe it’s a block away maybe it’s a couple blocks
away you’re going to meet the person there and slowly start to orient your
body to what it’s like being in those social environments you’re going to feel
that social anxiety just from being around other people but you’re with
someone that you know and you’re very comfortable with to wade into it to not
jump into it from you know the cold plunge or the water’s fifty degrees and
you’re jumping in you’re going to sit with them for fifteen to thirty minutes
if you drink alcohol have a drink or two we all know that alcohol is a social
lubricant it can low it down we also know statistically people with social
anxiety have a higher propensity for alcoholism so be careful with that but
if it’s something you do no problem having a drink or two to kind of reduce
the social anxiety you have on that method we’re hitting it from a bunch of
fronts if you don’t that’s fine to get comfortable environment allow your body
to orient so now we’ve engaged our social mind we got that going the phone
call now we’ve met at a restaurant to pay a place in public where we may be
feeling some of that anxiety we’re starting to train our body to give our
body a minute to orient and get used to that kind of environment now the third
thing is the decoy and what the decoy is is you’re going to have somebody who’s
already at the event that you know you’re going to go talk to immediately
and you know exactly what you’re going to talk to them about now I’m going to
tell you what this does and then afterwards I’m going to tell you how to
set it up so what this does is once you jump in and you immediately talk to that
person it’s going to do two things first of all it’s going to show everyone else
at that party in that environment that you are social so they’re going to get
used to treating you when you do interact with them like a more social
person as opposed to someone who just go stands in the corner even though that
guy probably pretty shot up rather than much
to say they’re going to see like that so they’re going to treat you as having
higher status and being more confident which can be a self-fulfilling prophecy
secondly and more importantly it tells your brain or your subconscious that
it’s okay to be social in these environments that it’s a safe place no
one’s coming to harm you from talking to someone else so now you’re talking your
buddy you know what you’re talking them about doesn’t have to be your buddy
actions that somebody who is predetermined to be at the party or the
event when you get there now how do you set this up well you can do it three
different ways so number one if you have a really good friend who’s aware of the
social anxiety you feel just explain it to them so have found that when I got
somebody right away to bounce into to talk to you to kind of get the wheels
turning it works really well otherwise you can just tell someone beforehand
hey I wanted to talk to you about this when I get to the party why don’t we
address it knock it out there would be a better time than I’m trying to get out
of here right now or third if you’re in a panic what if it’s an event that you
didn’t know you had to go to you got to go if you know one person who’s there
just text them and say hey I’m coming to this event are you there and they’re
like yeah like okay cool right when I get there let me know what you’re going
to be I’m going to come in I got something I want to talk to you about
okay very easy to set up that decoy but once that decoy is in place it’s going
to allow you to take that third step to establish that momentum now if when
you’re in an event like this you’re kind of confused about what you see around
you you know someone does something and everyone responds in a specific way and
you don’t really understand it that’s very common when people have social
anxieties and maybe don’t have the strongest social skill set but if that’s
something that you want to improve and you want to get your entire social
ability to the next level I’ve got a program called the social invincibility
program that goes to this whole thing in its entirety to get you to a level of
proficiency and competency it may not take away all the social anxiety but
like I said it will help you improve your social skills so you have that
aspect handled so you can be confident that even though you know you feel the
certain way you’re doing the right thing once again you can understand and rest
assure that you’re acting in the right ways you’re behaving in proper ways for
that environment so if you want to check that program out you can touch right up
here if you’re on your phone or your iPad or mobile device or you can
right here to check it out as well so I would really encourage you to try this
out any social momentum that you can establish in any specific way using even
if it’s all three of these on separate occasions maybe you can’t use them all
together maybe you can use two or maybe you can use one any social momentum that
you can begin to build is going to be hugely powerful and a great tool for you
to have in your kit when you do have social anxiety

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