4 Self Love Tips to Help Manage Depression

4 Self Love Tips to Help Manage Depression


Hey everyone, in this video you’re going to
learn four self-love tips to help you manage depression. If you’re going through a major depressive episode right now then your self-esteem is probably pretty low. You may be dealing with a lot of feelings of guilt maybe some shame attacks, you probably aren’t sleeping the greatest and you’re probably wondering
when this depression is ever going to lift? When am I going to feel like myself again?
The thing about depression is that it often attacks our sense of self love and
that can be kind of tricky because self love is one of the things that actually
helps us recover. So in this video I want to offer some self-love tips that you
can take into your life and start using to help you as you move through this
depression. My name is ashley Waknine, I’m a therapist and credential life coach
and on this channel we talk about self management strategies to better help
ourselves in life. When we’re dealing with depression it’s very common for us to beat ourselves up, to be very harsh and hypercritical with ourselves for
thinking the way we’re thinking and feeling the way that we’re feeling. And if you’ve grown up in an environment where these kind of mantras of “just get over it!” “don’t cry over spilled milk.” “just get on with things” then the practice of self-love can feel especially strange. So I like to think of depression and really any mental health condition the way that I think about a physical illness. So if you were just
experiencing a minor cold then yeah the mantra of “just get over it,” “get on with
things” might be useful in that situation it may not hurt. But if you were experiencing a really bad case of the flu or God forbid a very serious illness, you would not be able to get on with life
in the same way nor would you or anybody else for that matter
expect you to be able to. And mental health conditions like depression have a very similar effect in the sense that it affects our ability to function the way
that we normally would. And so it’s just not useful to be hyper critical and
harsh with ourselves. The ability to be loving and kind and to be supportive of ourselves is not just a good idea when we’re going through depression but it’s
actually a really important part of the recovery process because when you add
all of that harsh judgmental self-talk on top of everything else that you’re
already experiencing you’re adding another layer. You’re adding a layer of
self judgment that makes it even more difficult for you to cope and for you to
recover. To help ourselves manage depression we can use these self-love
tips that we’ll go through in a minute to target directly the symptoms that
we’re having the most difficulty with. So let’s quickly recap what those symptoms are so that you can choose one or two of them that you want to apply these skills
to. So the first symptom of depression is of course a depressed mood. A sense of
sadness, feelings of hopelessness. And there’s loss of interest in activities
that we used to enjoy Changes in our appetite maybe even
weight loss or weight gain changes in sleep patterns sleeping way too much or
way too little and then there’s that feeling of restlessness you know like
you’re gonna crawl out of your own skin and there’s feelings of guilt feelings
of worthlessness difficulty concentrating or making decisions and finally there are suicidal thoughts or maybe even a plan. And on this last one
remember that this is a symptom of depression so it’s common and it’s also
very treatable. So if you are seriously experiencing suicidal thoughts then take
it seriously and go get yourself some help. Call the National Suicide
Prevention lifeline at the number below or go to your nearest emergency room. If you want more information on depression I made a video called how to fight
depression which dives a lot more deeply into this topic so I’ll leave a link in
the description box below as well as above in case you want to check it out So tip number one is kind self-talk. So our mind is a problem-solving machine so it’s gonna see this
depression as a problem it’s gonna see these symptoms as a problem and it’s
going to want to fix it right away. It’s not only gonna be too concerned about
the way it speaks to you and the way it goes about it so it’s very normal for
our self-talk to become very harsh and judgmental as our mind tries to alert us
of this problem and push us to solve it and well that’s practical it’s not very
useful and so kind self-talk is kind of rerouting the way we speak to ourselves
using a tone that is a bit more compassionate using language with
ourselves that is a bit more considerate so you can think about how you would
speak to a friend going through depression. What kind of tone you would
be using, what kind of things you would be saying and trying to apply that to
yourself. Kind self-talk also acknowledges the symptoms
that were experiencing. It validates why we feel pulled to act in a particular
way because of these symptoms and then it highlights the workability of that; so
is it useful? Is it more likely to pull me deeper into a depression if I act
this way or is it more likely to help me out? And when it’s more likely to pull us
deeper, kind self-talk offers alternative suggestions from a place of love instead
of lectures. So for example, “I know you stayed in bed all day because you had no
energy and you were feeling really sad but now you’re feeling even worse
because you’ve isolated yourself I want you to feel happy I want you to feel
better so why don’t we try doing this instead.” and the “this” is usually a
suggestion that is the opposite of what the depressive symptom is wanting us to
do but done so from a place of love and compassion. Another example; “I know that you didn’t eat anything today because you really didn’t have an appetite
and you really couldn’t be bothered but now you’re feeling even worse now you
have even less energy. I want you to be healthy. I want you to move through this
depression and get back to your life so why don’t we try doing this instead?”
That’s kind self-talk Now you can stop yourselves when you catch yourself being
harsh and acting on these depressive symptoms and apply this kind
of phrase or you can start journaling to yourself either in the morning or before
you go to bed at night kind of reflecting on the day reflecting on the
actions you took in the face of depression and speak to yourself from a
place of kind self-talk in your journal Tip number two is compassionate imagery
so I’ll give you a couple examples. First is inner child work which I absolutely
love. So this is when we imagine ourselves as this very young innocent
child who’s suffering and then we imagine ourselves as the person we are
today, kind of the ideal version of ourselves going and being there to give
love and support to this child and this is a way of teaching ourselves how to
give empathy to ourselves. It’s also really powerful because what we learn
with inner child work is that our way of treating ourselves is usually a learned
behavior passed down to us when we were very young by older adults and really we
learn through modeling how to treat other people and how to treat ourselves
so through inner child work we can kind of reteach this younger version of
ourselves how to give love in the face of pain. That’s inner child work. The
second example of compassionate imagery is getting to know emotional pain and
how it lives in our body. So where is this emotional pain physically? Where’s
it located? What is the texture? The color? Is it really solid or does it move
around? This helps us stay present in our body instead of being pulled up into our
mind and kind of having that snowball effect of emotion but we can also use
imagery to kind of imagine like that emotional pain gradually draining out
through our feet or imagining kind of gentle rain washing it away or the
color gradually changing and kind of softening around the pain and so it
helps us also be very patient with ourselves and kind of take a different
stance to the emotions we’re currently experiencing. Tip number three is using
kind touch and breathing so touch is a really useful way to calm
ourselves down there are a lot of physiological changes that happen with
touch for example it activates the parasympathetic nervous system it
deactivates the cardiovascular system which is kind of that heart pounding
effect that you get when you’re feeling really emotional. It releases oxytocin in
the brain oxytocin is a hormone that helps calm us down and so this is why if
you’ve ever been really emotional and then somebody that you trust came and
gave you a really big hug you get that kind of sense of release because of the
physical changes that the affect of touch has. So you can do this for
yourself, you can give yourself a big hug you can put your hand to your heart
and just kind of close your eyes and breathe into yourself and feel yourself
kind of grounded in your body again. You can give yourself a massage or you can
use something like this weighted blanket this is what I use when I’m alone and
I’m feeling emotional I’ll wrap myself up in it and it has a similar effect to
somebody coming giving me a big bear hug and so I absolutely love it.
So that’s kind touch and I recommend really using your breath to help you as
you do this because it’ll keep you more in your body. Tip number four is loving
actions. So this goes back to the idea of kind of doing the opposite of what these
depressive symptoms are pulling us to do getting proper exercise, proper rest,
eating healthy, surrounding ourselves with people instead of isolating,
surrounding ourselves with professionals like a therapist maybe a psychiatrist a
medical doctor people who can help you manage this depression and move through
it more quickly. So all of these kind of actions that we take to help ourselves
recover our acts of self love and compassion. So those are my four self
love tips to help manage depression. I would love to know which of these tips
was most useful for you and which of the depressive symptoms you
plan to apply that particular tip – so leave all of that in the comments below
it’s really cool for me to see but it also kind of builds that sense of
community on this page, it’s inspiring to other people who come here looking for
motivation, looking for guidance so your experience applying this stuff is really
what it’s ultimately about. If you like this video hit that like button,
subscribe to the channel if you want to see more from me in the future
and until next time… take care ๐Ÿ™‚

One thought on “4 Self Love Tips to Help Manage Depression”

  1. Thanks for watching! Which tip will you try today and for what symptom will you practice on? Let me know if you have questions. xx

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