So, guys, tonight’s
the premiere of The Bachelor. -(man whoops)
-We all know I watch that. It’s season 9,000.
And here to tell us about it is the host, Chris Harrison. -♪ ♪
-Yeah! -Yeah! (cheering) (cheering continues) All right, bud.
Thanks for coming, bud. -Sure. Thanks for having me.
-Uh, so, the show never ends, -So, let’s go over some things.
-Yes. Um, I love the show obviously, and watch and talk about it
all the time. Uh, so, when you– one of the
contestants I saw is a virgin. Now, how do we confirm that? -(laughter)
-Of do you guys… Do we eyeball it?
Is it… the honor… is it the honor system? Eyeball it?! (laughter) It is…
there’s an eyeball test. -SPADE: Yeah.
-Yeah. -(laughter) You eyeball it. Um… But is it, like,
a hook thing that… -Rigorous medical.
-There is a medical? Yeah, oh, yeah.
And there’s a virgin test. -Is T.I. involved?
-(laughter) No, I really…
in all seriousness, I really think
it is the honor system. Yeah, I think so.
I think there’s only so much -you can ask them. Yeah.
-You got to trust. Right. Well, you can tell
when they start crying when someone mentions sex–
like, that’s what happened in one… in season two,
it was like, (crying). Honestly, just have
a conversation with them. -You can tell pretty quick.
-Yeah. -(laughter) They give themselves up
pretty fast. Colton– I believed him. -Yeah. -I got to ask you,
as a straight male, I’m gonna ask you some questions
from this perspective. But, like, has there ever been
a time on the show where, like, say,
one of the women is trying to get
with one of the bachelors, and he’s like, “No,”
and you’re like, “You know… I’m available.” -Uh…
Well, that’s another question. -Do you…
-Yeah. -I’ll soften it.
-Thank you. -Do you…
-(laughter) -Put it in terms I can answer?
-Yes. When… when they get,
uh, let go, -Right. -do you all have to stay
in the same, like, mansion? Or they have the time
they have to stay until the whole end
of the whole show, right? No, we actually do let them go. -Oh, they go home.
-Yeah, we let them go home. Towards the end sometimes, depending on where we are
in the world and how soon the show
will be over, we’ll hold them, so they all don’t go home
at separate times -so you can figure out who won.
-Yeah, people love -to figure that out.
-Yeah, we try to… we try to keep an ounce
of suspense. Um, but yeah, we…
Early on, no. -As soon as you’re done,
you go home. -SPADE: Right. And while they’re there,
it’s no phones. You can’t look out the windows.
It’s-it’s everything. -Right. No, you…
-You get an hour in the yard. -Yeah, I know. It’s tough.
-Good behavior. They’re good about it.
But I always think you’re… You guys are very good about… People don’t figure it out. In this day and age, you think they would figure out
everything. I mean,
as well as you can, yeah. -In this age. You’re trying…
-Yeah. It’s sort of the fun of not knowing.
I’d rather not know. Uh, Hannah Banana Brown is on,
who everyone loves. -Yeah.
-Uh, she was on The Bachelor, and then she went
on Dancing with the Stars, which is sort of a dating show. -Um…
-It kind of is now. -It’s a dry humping show,
if nothing else. -Yeah. That place is like the Purge.
They’re all going at it. But now, how did it come about
she’s on the new one? Well, obviously,
if you watched last season, you know,
she broke up with Peter. He was heartbroken. And there just was
this undeniable chemistry and this thing between them, and you thought
maybe this thing isn’t over. -So she came back… -SPADE:
And they’re both still single. -And they’re both still single.
-SPADE: Yeah. And, you know, she came back,
and, obviously, you saw that, you know, she gave him
his wings back at first. -SPADE: Yeah. -And it was just
this sweet moment between them. But it was
that second conversation when she came back and she was
on the date that we all watched. Um, that’s what
was amazing tonight. And, you know,
the mascara’s running, and there’s just… You can tell
there’s this thing between… She looked like the Joker.
It was a lot of makeup. Very Joaquin Phoenix.
And then she went off about environment and… Yeah. -Um…
-(laughter) -SPADE: Yeah.
-No, but this-this… I-I’m in such suspense
’cause I’m like, “Well…” I mean, just let us know. Are they gonna let her back
in the house? And then we’ll edit it. -O-Obviously…
-(laughter) Obviously, something’s
not done between them. -Okay, good. -I mean,
you saw in that conversation. -It’s not over. -I’m sure
the other girls are stoked. -Um… -HARRISON: Oh, yeah,
they… Well, it was funny, ’cause, obviously,
you saw in the episode they were so excited.
They’re like, “Oh, it’s Hannah!” Like, a celebrity. Then they had
this moment of realization -like, “Oh, crap.”
-JOHNSON: The second time. -SPADE: Yeah, it’s competish.
-Like, that’s… -“This isn’t good for us.”
-SPADE: For sure. That’s like, you know,
when-when, um… -My cousin used to be
on a TV show. -SPADE: Okay. And, um… Wait-wait a second.
We’re getting to it. So, when we…
We used to go on auditions. I used to have him come with me
and sit in the room because I was auditioning
for lower level roles. But when he walked in, you
could see the other actors like, “What the fuck
is this guy doing here?” SPADE:
Yeah. He’s cool? Yeah. No, he was cool with it.
He never understood why. But let me ask you, um… Like, if she… This is like the poster
out of my dentist office. -Like, th-this is, uh…
-She has great teeth, yeah. She-she… When she comes back, is she allowed to do everything
all the other girls are doing -and everything?
-SPADE: What does that mean? Whatever– Yeah, she–
That’s the beauty of the– the beauty of the show–
there’s no rules. -There’s no rules. So…
-She can come back. Uh, that–
I have a question, actually. Since there’s no rules,
like, they kiss so much, -even in the first episode.
-Yes. Has anyone ever got pregnant
on the first episode? -And if so… -You can’t get
pregnant by kissing. -Just so you know.
-(laughter) I believe this needs
a deeper conversation. I’ll take her backstage
for that. Yeah, yeah. It’s on. That’s all right. We’ll get in on that. -When a– when a man really…
-I’m a virgin. Yeah. When a bird and a bee… When a man really loves
a woman… Yes. Give her the speech. Well, also, quickly,
the entrances are always fun, when they walk in. You’re
keeping the limo business alive, -I’ll tell you that.
-Yeah. Uh, no one uses limos anymore. But, uh, do you– do– I don’t
know if it’s you or people– Do they help them with ideas
with the girls to be creative? Yeah, when they first get
to L.A., we’ll start talking about, “Hey, do you have
any hobbies or anything you want “to do? Is there a statement
you’d like to make or something cool
you’d like to do?” And then
they start brainstorming -and throwing stuff against the
wall to see what sticks. -Yeah. And they– Do-do they
ever say no to anything? -It doesn’t seem like it.
-Apparently not. -Yeah, I know.
-(laughter) The girl that wore
an actual windmill. -Yes. -And-and then there was
the David Copperfield girl. -Yes. -How she got herself
in a suitcase that was this big. -And it takes a minute to walk
down the driveway. -Yeah. I thought we might lose her,
but I thought, “Eh.” -(laughter)
-Lose her. -You lost, like… -There’s not
a lot of oxygen in there. -Yeah, that’s true.
-That was really real? -That wasn’t a magic trick?
-She woke up in Cincinnati. -Yeah.
-Uh, no, she was actually in that
for a good five minutes. -Oh, wow.
-A very El Chapo move. That windmill. How do you hear
about the windmill? They’re like,
“Chris, we’ve got a situation “on the Goony Golf course. They’ve been in there
for two hours.” Do you guys– because
the insanity and the craziness– do you guys ever have to stoke
it or it just happens naturally? -Believe it or not,
you really don’t have to. -Yeah. -Uh…
-All you need is no food, right? -There’s no food and…
-I mean, look, -if we closed the doors
right now, -It’s like Vegas. -96% of the people
in this room are nuts. -Yeah. Yeah, it’s true. Let’s– Look at the polls! -(cheering and applause)
-Right. -Yeah. -We don’t have to create it.
-Yeah. Yeah. -All right, well…
-This guy especially. Look at that guy. That’s– Anyone in our crowd. -He’s weird as hell.
-Yeah. We have an eclectic bunch. Um, anyway,
I have a lot more questions, but please come back again
in a– in a couple weeks and-and walk us
through it again.