you hi everybody it’s been a little while
since we saw each other lost it’s been a it’s been a good 2015 you know when I
look back on it mostly for the lessons but now that we’re in 2016 I had a great
epiphany when I woke up on january or first and I grabbed a pen immediately
and started writing down a bunch of notes you know a lot of us try to do
these new year’s resolutions every year and really near near those Aleutians
should be happening every day of the week every time you think of something
you need to change or you think of a way to live better there’s really no reason
to wait until tomorrow a great example is a friend of mine up in Ottawa for the
last 20 years every week I talked to him he says hey great you know what I I’m
going to quit smoking starting in two weeks I’m going to quit smoking and
every time I talk to him it’s always three weeks later he’s going to quit
next month he’s going to quit and yeah that’s been going on for 20 years and
what I always tell them is why don’t you start what’re you set right now right
the second for change stop smoking now I’ll get into why that’s an addiction or
what have you but my point is every day is a day for reflection and change and
daily resolution so without further ado I’m going to talk to you about the
resolutions I came up for 2016 when I woke up on january first and I implement
them every day and I try to adapt them every day and so I’m going to start with
my first resolution and I hope some of you can gain some insight from them I
know it’s a lot of you were probably like me you’re always trying to help
people and you know you sometimes you don’t look out for yourself first so
first resolution to live a better 2016 and a better life in general is start to
minimize your east of technology it’s always interesting when I look around me
an elevator as public places it seems like everybody’s staring at their cell
phone everybody’s doing this even at stoplights which is my personal
favorite because then the light changes to yellow and then red again and the
current front hasn’t moved because they’re too busy texting somebody and
this is how so many accidents happen but I’ve noticed technology has given a lot
of stress to me over time especially running a law firm and you have people
always texting you always calling you and you know right now my phone is not
working properly and I’m not receiving texts and I love it so minimize use of
technology Hilary’s that realized how much it consumes you after a while and
you become a slave to your phone how many times you have to repeat things
trying to close a program on clothes trying to send email alone it won’t send
and you know things were simpler when we didn’t have so much technology around us
now we have almost too much and the problem with technology is I’d say
ninety percent of it doesn’t work for beta testers we’re paying companies to
be beta testers because most of this stuff doesn’t work properly anymore so
number one minimize use of technology it will really decrease your stress stress
levels whether you realize it now we’re not give it a shot for a couple of weeks
and see what I mean number two if something isn’t working walk away from
it don’t fight to make it work and that applies to people as well and technology
and a lot of things in life you know it’s good to be persistent in life and
to keep you know hitting that rock until it breaks or trying to achieve a goal
but little things in life you know some door won’t close properly or you just
can’t get this software to open back to technology whatever it is if something
isn’t working you don’t have to keep hitting your head against the wall the
good thing about life is there many options to achieve the same goal there
many different streams or paths you can take that will get you to your next
destination or the goal you want to achieve so when something’s not working
you’ve tried a few times you don’t have to keep trying all the time
and it’s kind of like Homer Simpson said once I think he said son if at first you
don’t succeed quit I won’t go to that extent because you don’t be a quitter
either but do you realize there are other ways to achieve the same goal and
if you’ve been trying something for this you know if you’ve been trying something
over and it’s not working it’s okay to change course and try something else to
you know get to your goals because at some point you’re just spinning your
wheels and wasting your time and distressing yourself and this is another
way you can de-stress yourself and decrease your stress levels number three
every day we deal with people and when I look at what causes stress for me and
most people is it’s usually other people cause that stress I’m not going to
really get into the fact that really we control our stress and it’s us that let
other people affect us so look it does start with us I’ll never deny that i’m
the first always take responsibility for others but i will say this when you are
confronted with the situation in which you know your your your work mate or
your coworker isn’t doing what they’re supposed to do when you’re feeling the
stress of it we’re getting frustrated because somebody else is in
understanding what you’re saying who knows what what’s pissing you off about
people these days or an individual whether its relationship or friendship
or even appearin focus on your strengths instead of other people’s weaknesses
which means focus on the things that you’re good at doing because it’s very
easy to go home and sit down and be like oh why doesn’t like I do what I ask them
to do how can be so incompetent why can he even type the simple date properly on
a simple letter or forget it it’s not your job to do their job it’s not your
job to be smart for other people so don’t focus on trying to fix other
people’s shortcomings all the time it’s not really going to go anywhere I’ve
noticed because if people are a certain way they’re generally going to be that
way and all you do is you stress yourself out and you divert your
precious resources trying to change somebody who’s not going to change when
you should just be fixed fixing yourself and focusing on bolstering your your
strengths and what you’re good at so that would be my third point focus on
your strengths and other people’s shortcomings your
weaknesses number 44 living a better 2016 this one’s going to be tougher for
some but go on a minimum of three vacations this year and actually when I
say three vacations I’m really referring at three months worth of vacations so
this year my goal is to go on a hundred days of trips whether that’s you know
somewhere else in the US or traveling internationally I’ve kind of come to
realize I don’t really feel like a week is enough usually going away for a month
is fantastic because time goes pretty fast I I kind of say that with an
asterisk or a caveat because I realize for those of you that have the old
nine-to-five job you know that’s really tough I guess you know you get a
whopping two weeks off a year so if you don’t do what you can to get away on the
weekend even if it’s a weekend or a Friday off and take more time off for
yourself go to nature absorb the energy from the plants and the trees and you’ll
feel different and I promise you you know a lot of the European countries
they do have it right with having much more vacation time so try to take as
much time off for yourself as you can because you know our lives become work
and you know nobody’s thinking of the office on their on their deathbed number
five guard your peace of mind it’s never for sale understand that it’s never for
sale at any cost and don’t let people sell you their stress as a business
owner is an attorney people try to sell me their stress all the time in the
sense that i’m not paying for that they’re paying me to take on their
stress and it’s a killer there’s a reason most attorneys not most of a lot
of attorneys are drinking problems i believe this statistic is attorneys or
six times more likely to commit suicide but whatever your job is you know you’re
going to have your own workplace issues whether it’s with customers
clients or other other workers your boss you know people are going to try to
shovel their issues on you whether what it let’s have a bad dad at home with
their kid and their wife or their husband and they go to work and next
thing you know they’re on your ass for everything and you know you haven’t done
anything wrong it’s because of trying to vent so always put your guard up about
that don’t let other people I unload their stress on you you have to learn
how to say no there’s a great video by Ralph smart great he’s got a lot of
great lectures on YouTube but essentially he talks about the emotional
drive by so people are trying to give you their negative energy and when they
do that they go they walk off feeling great and you feel drained you feel
tired so before you even get to that stage start learning to say no you know
just the other day good friend of mine was about to go off about one of his
relationships and how he was really pissed off with his girlfriend and i can
see that i could see the energy negative energy building up in him and me is a
very sensitive person actually absorbed that whether I like it or not so I very
quickly said to I said stop stop stop stop stop stop I don’t want to enter it
I don’t want to acknowledge any serve any of that energy when your comp down
about it I’ll talk to you about it but right now I can and it I felt great
because I’ve been to the situation before and what ends up happening is
that person will talk and at the end of their conversation I’ll feel drained and
tired and he’ll feel great they’re like well I feel good now and I walk one so
never sell your strut and I’ve never never give your peace of mind away if
you’re in a good place mentally and you’re feeling good run away from people
that you think might bring you down nobody can force you to be with them so
that is my fifth point number six and very similar to number five never be
controlled by other people’s emotions always do what’s in your best interest
first and you know that sounds very selfish especially if you have children
and a family but you know this goes back to the fact that you can’t help other
people unless you help yourself first and so what will often do is
we won’t ask somebody for something or we won’t say no to somebody because
we’re worried about how they might feel and the funny thing is usually those
people couldn’t care less how you feel they’ll do usually unload on you or ask
you for things that you’re not in a position to give and you give it but
you’re never going to ask them for something like that and all you end up
doing is getting stressed because now you have some pressure on you to do
something that you may not be able to do but you you kind of let what somebody
else might think about you or how they might feel dictate your decisions and
you let that override and supersede what’s actually better for you instead
of thinking well is this in my best interest to do do I have the time to do
this will this cause problems for me your first instinct can tend to be well
will they get mad at me will I ruin my relationship with them if I don’t do it
things like that and so I want you to start prioritizing or reprioritizing
yourself so always ask yourself first is me doing this good for me first can I do
this is this in my best interest if it is then you can move on to their
emotions but take care of your emotions first number seven follow your logic
analysis and intuition you know you got to stop ignoring it to make other people
happy because what ends up happening is we have this gut feeling and I think as
children are much better at using it but as we get older we tend to use societal
norms and things like that and how other people might think going back to point
six in terms of dictating our decisions but our gut might say hey don’t do this
I’m not getting good feeling from this person I don’t think this is a good idea
but will tend to use other other metrics to to go ahead with doing something
which our gut told us not to go forward with in the first place so try to follow
your instinct more and see what happens see what happens to go you know go
through the next few months just going over off of your gut more than
necessarily you know the obvious and trick extrinsic values and you may find
that your decisions are better even though they’re not necessarily based on
you know things you can explain vocally okay a few more points and we’ll wrap up
number eight very similar you can kind of see the theme today it seems to
revolve around other people’s energies and how they affect you my eight-point
has walk away from people that are projecting any sort of undesired
negative energy if those people you know you mean and they’re they’re doing that
then you know you’ll feel it you’ll feel it from them when you’re near them I can
feel it people come on I feel it for me when I’m in a bad mood you just have to
walk away from them let them cool down it’s not your job just to sit by them
and be a sponge absorbing their negative energy number nine let go of anything
and everything stop getting stuck on things as a great example there’s a cat
next to me that is scratching my cupboard and the cat always scratches my
cupboard is assigned to tell me he wants to eat even though I put the food out
the cat will keep scratching and he used to really annoy me at first because I
didn’t want him to damage the you know the house and what have you and you know
even standing here talking to you you may have felt a little energy shift
because I’m diverted from doing this little talk with you guys to watching
this cat there is scratch up the old cupboard and so net nonetheless just
like old things let them do it let people do their thing you know just let
things happen because we can feel like we want to control things all the time
and the problem is we really don’t have control of anything people do we really
don’t I mean you can try your hardest but you know that’s generally what
stresses people out all the time it’s the fact that we want other people that
do something or behave in a certain way or speak a certain way and they don’t do
it and we get all frustrated and we get stressed again over what something we
can’t control and so I’ll tell you this if you want something done right do it
yourself but move away from trying to get results from other people all the
time it just it’s not going to work or other kittens just like all things let
things be the way they are it’s okay I do things that are fun you know this
society we get so caught up with working trying to make a dollar we put up with
increasing incremental amounts of stress everyday pressure every day until we we
just explode you know that’s what people have so many heart attacks and health
issues from the stress you know people say the number one killer is this the
number one killer is that you know it’s not obesity it’s not smoking it’s stress
Stratus drives people to these devices which ultimately kill you they’re your
downfall so do things that are fun for yourself not once a week every single
day take an hour take half an hour do something that’s fun do something that
you like get a hobby you like blog writing start a blog you want to take
photography go put your photos online and you know promote them on image or
something like that so do things that you enjoy it’s what kind of life is it
if 24 hours a day you work eat sleep and I’ll wait until the weekend before it
can do something for myself you’re you this is your life this is your life you
know I know it’s for sale every day while you go to work but always take
time for you to do something that you like what kind of life would it be if
you look back and you said yeah once a week for a couple hours I got to do this
little hobby of mine no no no no that’s not good enough that’s not good enough
never accept that I don’t do anything in a rush slow down I have one of my
triggers probably my only only trigger when I start you know going crazy in my
mind is when I have when I feel like I’m in a rush if somebody shows up early and
I suddenly have to get ready faster something trips in my brain and I just
go in like rush mode and I start getting really stressed and I can’t think
clearly and i found that happening a lot especially here in los angeles where you
can tend to be late for things a lot of meetings and whatnot because of the
complete unpredictability of the traffic just as an example so I’ve started to do
things to even what if I have a client that calls in there in a rush and they
get some ridiculous email or voicemail oh there’s an emergency and I know what
they’re calling about and a snow emergency I used to really respond to
that stuff and it would really affect me and I’d get really upset because I I
feel compelled and this relates to my other points okay it feels so compelled
to pick up the phone or drop everything I was doing and trying to help them out
I think why is this person in Russia’s this isn’t even emergency but here i was
getting caught up in their mental turmoil I don’t do that anymore I have a
client whose name who’s name will go unnamed he just seems to call he calls
me every day his case went fine its case is closed in fact and I he may be
suffering from some sort of Alzheimer I hope he isn’t but he calls every two
days about the same thing and before I get frustrated now I just don’t reply I
have other people emailing me with some pretended emergency in their mind and I
don’t no longer let myself get drawn into that you know what I feel great I
feel really good because I was getting so stressed out every day over other
people’s fictions the fictions of emergencies in their mind and i said no
just like my other point i said it started saying no to putting up with
that so trying to slow down in life you’ll you’ll you’ll remember more
things your quality of life will go out my last point and this goes opposite to
jim carrey’s movie yes man and that is when in doubt say no to people for
anything you have doubt about or that you haven’t had a chance to think about
you know some people say no to much and they never try new things this isn’t
about that this is more about you having to make a decision that may affect
something in your interests so if somebody says hey let’s go to Las Vegas
this weekend I want to go to this concert any part of you is thinking well
you know maybe I don’t have the money for that I have to go I have these
errands that are more important this weekend I can’t really pull the two off
don’t say yes just to appease the other person if you’re if you have some doubt
say no I know there’s that expression which I love and that is it’s better to
try something and regretted having done it and not have tried it at all I still
stand by that I’m talking about other decisions where you know you you feel
like you shouldn’t be doing something and i’m not talking about trying new
things i’m talking about other things people may be wanting to do you to do
for them because you know you end up regretting
it you end up getting pissed off with the individual that asked you and
anyways you end up getting stressed and this all all of these things really
really relate to other people computing their stress on you and you sobbing it
and it affecting your quality of life so I hope you’ve enjoyed all of those
points there are quite a few of them 12 but you’ll notice that now the majority
of them have the same nucleus of thought and that is number one guarding yourself
from other people’s issues in their stress keep people that are going
through things at an arm’s length it’s great for you to counsel them it’s great
for you to help them out when they need it really it is that’s what being a
friend isn’t a family member but one thing I’ve learned is suffering along
some side somebody it doesn’t help them it doesn’t help them the only times it
helps is when you absorb their stress and they walk off on their merry way and
you feel like hell but for what now you’ve lost so this is really about
protecting yourself and living a much more stress-free life which I know you
can do and I can do too and since I’ve started really focusing on these tenets
of these resolutions I’ve noticed my life has changed a lot I feel much
better every day I don’t feel tired I stopped going to the gym about two
months ago and you know interesting it’s my you know it’s doing a lot of weight
so my body looks the same I feel as energetic as before I feel great so you
kind of have to protect yourself so I hope these points are well received
appreciate any comments you guys may or not may have and I’ll see you guys on
the next one you

One thought on “How To Live Stress-FREE [**WARNING** This VIDEO MAY CHANGE YOUR LIFE]”

  1. I thought I had posted a reply already but its not showing up.. anyways thank you for the tips, Im gonna try a couple..

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