Long distance relationships, first time, mental illness VS relationship | doyouknowellie (SUB ENG)

Long distance relationships, first time, mental illness VS relationship | doyouknowellie (SUB ENG)


I’m back – in my pyjama – making this video because I have always been receiving loads of questions about relationships on Twitter, Facebook, and any social I have Since I am THAT good at relationships – please add a litre of sarcasm right here – I thought I would answer a few questions Just because why not @forgotten asks “what do you think of long distance relationships?” I was in a long-distance relationship and… for me it did not work. but it did not work not because we were distant but because… we weren’t meant to be For example there is a friend of mine here in London, a Youtuber, who’s been with his girlfriend who is an American Youtuber for a long time And he always says it sucks because of course he would rather have her here with him but they have been together a long time anyway and now they’re getting married So long-distance relationships are complicated, yes, and they require a lot of trust and effort but they are as much complicated as a normal relationship would be, just on other sides. In my opinion I mean, you definitely have to CHOOSE to be in a long-distance relationship knowing good and bad and risks and dangers I mean that if you know you can’t be in such a relationship It’s your choice You’re not forced into one because it requires a lot of effort and you can’t pretend it’s just something very easy because there is less physical contact and if you are like me – I am a very very jealous person maybe because of complexes I have about myself but yeah I am very jealous. I tend not to tell it to the other person as if there is something I hate is being annoying so I prefer to keep it for myself and let it bother just me, especially if it’s just a nonsense worry because there is not a real reason why I have to worry or being jealous I know that for something like this having my partner far away would make things difficult for me As such I don’t know if a long-distance relationship could be positive for me Especially ’cause I need so many confirmations because I tend to overthink a lot and having my partner far away wouldn’t allow me to have a proper conversation or just… I don’t know, maybe it just wouldn’t work for me but I am always open to try because of course it always depends on the person and I know of so many long-distance relationship that can work amazingly There are so many friends of mine in long-distance relationships and as much as it sucks they make it work and it is anyway, as I said before, a choice. If you chose to be in a long-distance relationship both of you have to work for it work for the relationship It is complicated already when you have to manage yourself on your own When you have to manage another person too things get really messy So if you both decide to be in a long-distance relationship you BOTH have to work for it Not just one, and you have to put some effort in it Sometimes things get bad, sometimes they get shitty, sometimes they are awesome as in any relationship So this is what I think about long-distance relationships @luci_mesini asks “do you want to get married and have kids?” Right now…. I don’t think so I mean… a part from the fact that I think I would be an awful mother because… right now I don’t think I would be able to educate someone, it’s too much of a responsability I wouldn’t be able to and it would be incredibly difficult I think I might be too focused on myself right now I’m all about what I want to do so it’s hard to think about marriage and kids but this doesn’t mean that meeting the right person and in a few years I won’t want to get married and have kids I don’t believe in marriage as I think it’s just a legal document but it allows you to have rights towards the other person which is what for example gay people have been fighting for for all this years and I don’t feel like minimizing it This question is a big question mark! So not for now, but life is long @ale_boeva “What do you think of bisexuality?” Oh, I met you at the meet up! As much as I have never been attracted to girls, weirdly enough for what I believe in I strongly believe you fall in love with a person, not with a gender. You cannot fall in love with someone’s genitals You fall in love with someone’s personality, way of talking, attitude, taste, look too yes but it’s a mix of things I cannot believe it actually works just as… penis and vagina, for example. SO I a firmly convinced that when you fall in love you fall in love with the person And this person can be of any gender you like and I really don’t care about what’s between someone’s legs @fedebugnoli asks “What do you think about lovestrucks? Are they possible or love is built gradually getting to know the person?” I work in lovestrucks So I strongly believe in them because I’m the type of person who works in black and white So I either like you or really don’t If I even remotely realise I find you interesting, that I am interested in you, that you are intriguing and I am attracted to you As soon as I know it’s a run down the hill I just roll down at the speed of a rollercoaster and I fall violently and this is why I find it so hard to manage because it’s so irrational like a wall right in the face and it’s a lovestruck, but I am deeply convinced a lovestruck doesn’t mean LOVE love is something you build gradually and needs work and that punches you in the face but what’s at the beginning for someone’s physical appearence is just attraction and even the initial feeling is just attraction because love is not built like… pop, mushrooms Love is a complicated shit @heyjoshifer “Do you think there is any difference between having sex and making love?” Absolutely yes I am not the kid of person against simple sex Sex is pleasure, it’s like deciding to play videogames, reading a book, a hug or… it’s something that gives pleasure If both people agree that that is just sex why not? If BOTH people agree on not having any sentimental commitment and it’s just something they want to do because yes It makes them feel good and none of them gets hurt I don’t see why not Making love, instead, is completely different because it involves feelings it involves an entire emotional sphere that is completely different from the idea of simple sex it doesn’t involves just pleasure anymore, it’s a fusion of feelings and intertwined emotions that are not even explainable It’s very different from physical pleasure because it takes also emotional pleasure We are talking not only about a physical orgasm but a sentimental orgasm I think the love you can feel making love can be so powerful that I don’t even have any idea of HOW to explain it At the same time don’t let ANYONE force you into having simple sex if you don’t feel up for it Something very important about sex in CONSENT You have to feel ready, and there is no right time to have sex for the first time if not the one YOU feel it’s right Everyone can choose when to do it and I don’t give a damn about society and general prejudice I prefer to be ready and do it when I feel like it and have to listen to other people call me ‘virgin’ than do it, feel awful and bring this trauma with me for the rest of my life @procioneobeso “Would you hide your mental illness for fear that it might compromise your relationship?” My mental illness is a big part of my life so… it would have some sort of weight on my relationship for sure In all the relationships I have had until now I… Siri, no! Hi Siri “Who shall I text?” “Not me” Die Fuck off I tent to hide my MI in most of my relationships Or anyway under some sort of control Because I don’t want it to be a bother for the other person and I DO realise this is completely wrong because when someone falls in love with you he has to embrace everything about you he has to embrace your MI as much as you embrace his flaws if this can be called a flaw he has to embrace it and help you with it At the same time yes, it can be a burden in a relationship but it can be so as much as any other problem there might be It’s normal at the beginning to be scared to share it, but… it’s not possible to hide it forever At some point it WILL come out You have to talk about it and… not telling anything in a relationship it would just be like a huge lie And you don’t want to base a relationship with someone on a lie, trust me, because it will come out sooner or later @sempiturle “What do you think about cheating?” I think it’s one of the most vile, bastard, disgusting thing you can ever do Because the person who gets cheated on cannot feel anything worse than knowing the person you love went with someone else it makes you feel like you were never enough as if you were horrible You hate the other person and yourself just as much It’s something so awful that please, break up with the other person before, instead Don’t be a dickhead and go with someone else because… no. If you are committed in a relationship you STAY in that relationship and the other person has to be enough for you, because if she is not than there is something wrong But cheating on someone is one of the most vile and coward things you could ever do @sheeransapple “Do you think things like the first kiss and fist time are important?” I had my first kiss when I was 16 to…. a…. guy with who I had a lovely story that didn’t end up that good and I absolutely don’t regret giving my first kiss when I was 16 because because… it was the right time it was the time when I had to give my first kiss and it was amazing because we were on the walls of my town with the sunset and it as something… so beautiful that honestly when I think back about it I still feel happy I mean… I remember he was sitting on the walls and I was standing and then he leaned to kiss me and I was on my tiptoes and we kissed and it was beautiful and I don’t regret it because I was 16 and it was right differently from most of my friends who had given their first kiss at like 11 It was good the way it was For what concerns sex I lost my virginity when I was 18 And it wasn’t… during a relationship but… it was good the way it was because that person had been very correct with me I didn’t have any problem I felt good the day after, i didn’t feel used and it was alright to me to lose my virginity at 18 and not at 14 because I had a different maturity I chose how and I don’t think it’s anybody’s right to judge if what I did was right or wrong as it’s my body, my virginity and my sex life so I don’t think it’s anybody’s place to judge what I decided to do I think it’s very personal if you feel to kiss someone or not, or if you feel like having sex with someone or not It’s your choice, don’t feel pressured by society rules friends, not-so-much-friends, people who are trying to manipulate you careful not to get manipulated it’s YOUR choice it’s your body and your feelings and make them count because anyway the first time you’ll always remember it it’s a bit like the first tattoo, you’re like Oh My God and then it bacomes more natural It feels a bit like they count a tiny bit less So make the first times count or that are something that you are generally going to remember with a positive feeling @Rio_50 “Boobs: argue about them” They are two (hopefully), they are beautiful, they are as big as they have to be and everyone loves them so… thumbs up for boobs! What the hell, this is going online later! @poormyfeels “If you could meet your soulmate how would it be?” I don’t have a type, alright? I am repeating myself but I fall in love with… a person, I don’t think a type exists I know people who told me they wanted their girl blonde, with the boobs like that, that body… that… was more of a sex doll picture When you fall in love with a person… there is no type When I fall in love I fall in love and that’s it I liked the most diverse people So nope, I don’t have a type, I don’t care whether he’s blond, dark, brown… with his eyes in a certain shape, tall, short… I don’t care If I like someone I just like him Just because right now my love life…. is a HUGE mess Tell me a bit what you think about my answers do you have other opinions, other comments? I’ll be more than happy to read them! It’s such an interesting topic, so I might make a second video since it’s such a broad topic! I hope you find my nonsense rambling interesting My caribbean neighbours are having fun as usual

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