Why We’re All So Depressed – The Jim Jefferies Show

Why We’re All So Depressed – The Jim Jefferies Show


Last week was Mental Illness
Awareness Week. And to celebrate,
I scrolled through Instagram until I spiraled
into a depression that I only snapped out of
this morning. I admit it was nice
to see people supporting
each other online. Even Hollywood got into the act by releasing a heartwarming tale
about a misunderstood outcast who finally
gets the help he needs and becomes an advocate
for mental-health services. I — I have — I haven’t seen the movie,
but this poster speaks to me. [ Laughter ] But America still has a serious
mental-health crisis. We have the second-highest rate
of depression in the world, and other high-income countries
aren’t far behind. And I think
it’s because of dreams. [ Laughter ] Having goals
makes you sad, right? That’s why wealthy countries
are so depressed. People just trying to survive
don’t have the luxury of feeling bad because
they’ll never be a dancer. They’re too busy trying
to cure their own hemorrhoids with a bag of wood chips. [ Laughter ] [ Cheers and applause ] As we know, seeing other people
achieve their dreams only makes life more painful. Everybody else’s life
looks so much more glamorous on Instagram than yours. It’s also so easy to see all the things
that we’re missing out on. We’re all suffering from FOMO,
which is Fear Of Missing Out. In Africa, they have
a similar thing called MOFO, which stands for MOre FOod, which is what they’re scared
of missing out on. [ Applause ] A large part
of mental-health awareness is encouraging people
to share their struggles. And I support that,
but after a while, it becomes like
a kind of depression porn. There are a lot of people
out there with serious mental illnesses, but it really doesn’t help
when a reality-TV star posts a picture of themselves
in bed with no makeup saying, “I, too,
struggle with depression.” And then everyone starts
commenting underneath, “You’re so brave.
You’re beautiful. Heart emoji. Heart emoji.” Just stop it! Are we all really
clinically depressed, or is this just how
we’re meant to feel because life [bleep] sucks? Life sucks! It [bleep] sucks. [ Laughter ] Keep the [bleep] dog. No. [Bleep] you. I gave you
the house. It’s my [bleep] dog. [ Laughter ] Have you ever met someone
who is legitimately happy? They’re always dumb as shit. So that ain’t no better. You ever see a happy professor?
No. You haven’t.
‘Cause they’re smart. Einstein understood the universe
better than anyone. And what did he do?
Help invent the atomic bomb. We’re all so miserable
that even doctors have a hard time
telling the difference between real illness
and generally experiencing life. One study showed
that less than 40% of people diagnosed
with depression actually met the criteria. Doctors say the other 60%
aren’t depressed. They’re just dumpy,
un-[bleep]-able losers. [ Laughter ] It’s one thing to be aware
of mental illness, but it’s another to make sure
people are getting treatment. 10 million adults report an unmet need
for mental health care. So what if you need help but you don’t have the means
to get it? I suggest you try to get yourself arrested
in Cook County. We’re here at Cook County Jail
in Chicago. Right now it houses
9,000 inmates, and it’s estimated that 30%
of them have mental illnesses. That makes this
what’s thought to be the largest mental-health care
provider in America right now. That’s right — America’s
largest mental-health
care provider is a jail. Instead of looking down
on murderers, we should commend them
for getting help. It’s good that we’re able
to talk openly about mental illness,
but we need more than a hashtag. We need better funding,
better access to resources, more focus
on community services, including therapy
and addiction treatment… and better crisis services
beyond just jails and hospitals. Because the truth is, we don’t really like helping
people with mental illness. It’s scary and difficult, and it makes us uncomfortable
even if it’s someone we love. If you need help, all too often,
you’re on your own. So you may have to
help yourself. But how? Get arrested! I’m not saying
you have to kill someone, but a minor crime that gives
the nice people who run the jail a reason to put you
in treatment. Hey, uh, hold up a convenience
store after it’s closed. Sell cocaine to a pigeon. Commit bank fraud by telling
everyone that you’re a bank. Then again, maybe —
I don’t know — just maybe… we can take 1% of
the country’s military budget and put it towards improving
mental-health care in America. [ Cheers and applause ] Or is that idea just too crazy?
Ohhhh…

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